{"id":380,"date":"2025-07-19T20:36:26","date_gmt":"2025-07-19T20:36:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/?p=380"},"modified":"2025-07-19T20:53:09","modified_gmt":"2025-07-19T20:53:09","slug":"leaving-a-date-like","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/?p=380","title":{"rendered":"Leaving a date like: ?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><em>You aren\u2019t my call.. I\u2019m not yours<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Before you said <em>\u201cI\u2019m in love with\u201d<\/em>\u2014 travel with them first&#8230; Trust me!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br>I\u2019ve always thought you really get to know someone when you\u2019re traveling.. A Michelin bill hurts less than a jet-lagged ego without its Instagram filter \ud83d\ude05<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yes?<br>Well, you know I like to tell the naked truth, simply because:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>You can\u2019t hide your \u201croutines\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>There\u2019s no chance to wear a mask when you\u2019re out of your comfort zone.. There\u2019s tiredness, mess, decisions, surprises\u2026 and that\u2019s where the essence shows up.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Travel strips away the polished dinners and curated Instagram stories&#8230;<br>You see if someone\u2019s truly <em>with<\/em> you\u2026 or just tagging along \ud83d\ude2e\u200d\ud83d\udca8<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p><em>Why does this matter<\/em>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re out here \u201c<em>looking for something<\/em>\u201d or stuck in a \u201c<em>this wasn\u2019t the plan but I want it to work<\/em>\u201d vibe, this test never fails&#8230; Please don&#8217;t thank me yet haha<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p>We all\u2014and I mean <em>all<\/em>\u2014wear our patterns on our faces, whether we\u2019re chasing one or just rolling with it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Except for a few of us who are total wild cards..<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nobody knows if we\u2019re looking or just living\u2026 lol<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Gossip Sesh:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So, I was chilling with my girls in Central Park a few weeks back, and I told them, \u201cI figured it out\u2014we keep dating the same guy, same pattern, over and over&#8230; But this time, I\u2019m opting out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One of them goes, \u201cKim, maybe we should just date a bunch at once if that pattern thing holds true, haha.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I laughed and said, \u201cLook, I don\u2019t think I have a set \u2018type\u2019 for emotional connections \u2018cause I\u2019m not even <em>looking<\/em>. Guys always ask me on the first date, \u2018What are you looking for?\u2019 and I just crack up like, \u2018I\u2019m not looking!\u2019 \ud83d\ude04 Poor dudes get so deflated \u2026 but I\u2019m just out here living free.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p>One of my girls hit me with, \u201cKim, you\u2019re a math nerd, so even randomness is a pattern.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I shot back, laughing, \u201cHaha, maybe that\u2019s why in math it\u2019s called a prime number.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p>Another friend was wrestling with her own pattern, which she called an \u201cunlucky coincidence.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She\u2019s always chasing the guy who\u2019s too good to be true but ends up crushed when her Disney fairytale fantasy falls apart \ud83d\ude2e\u200d\ud83d\udca8<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p>I told them all, in my loudest voice:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cLadies, let\u2019s keep it real. You can\u2019t fulfill a need and expect a double jackpot.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes we romanticize the vibe, slap on our project manager hat, and treat the other person like a messy Excel sheet with a \u2018work in progress\u2019 sign.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s simple: if the chemistry\u2019s fire, the emotional availability\u2019s probably not there.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In math, we call that a <em><strong>trade-off<\/strong><\/em>\u2014or in regular talk, the <em>\u2018<strong>expectation paradox.<\/strong>\u2019<\/em>\u201d \ud83e\udd13<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dear reader, let\u2019s break it down logically (works for any kind of human connection):<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p>You can\u2019t have A (Chemistry) <em>and<\/em> B (Emotional Availability) at the same time in this system.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In math or logic, it\u2019s called a trade-off:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>A <\/strong>\u2227<strong> B = <\/strong>\u2205<br>(\u201cHaving both is impossible in this setup.\u201d)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Have a sense of humor about it, lol\u2026&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p>Let me translate:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u275d<em>What a lot of folks are living isn\u2019t a relationship\u2014it\u2019s a buggy algorithm.<\/em>\u275e<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>OK, second confession:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p>I was with a guy I really cared about.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I visited his country, he saw my soft side.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He came to mine, I saw his.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then we both ended up in a third continent neither of us called home\u2026&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Damn! We both saw each other\u2019s raw, unfiltered core..\ud83d\ude2e\u200d\ud83d\udca8<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Point is<\/em><\/strong>: <em>ideals don\u2019t exist in real life. Maybe in daydreams or rom-coms, but that\u2019s it.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p>That\u2019s why I approach everything and everyone around me from a real, present, grounded place.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I don\u2019t base my interactions on \u201c<em>if it was<\/em>\u201d or \u201c<em>if it could be<\/em>.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m not here for those \u201c<em>if only<\/em>\u201d or \u201c<em>someday<\/em>\u201d speeches.. Sorry, but I don\u2019t paint fake horizons and I don\u2019t force them either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>So\u2026 sometimes we <em><strong>leaving a date like<\/strong><\/em>\u2026 (a casual thing, or even a relationship) wondering about the \u201c<em><strong>score<\/strong><\/em>\u201d haha \ud83e\uddd0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p>The other day, I was joking with the guys at a bar, saying:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI think we all keep a mental score with anyone we go out with.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p>One of them piped up, \u201cKim, the worst part isn\u2019t the score\u2014it\u2019s deciding if it\u2019s worth reconnecting or just moving on.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>He adds<\/em>: \u201cIt\u2019s like that meme where you walk away stone-faced but inside you\u2019re like, \u2018Don\u2019t even call me.\u2019 It\u2019s basically an emotional job interview, lol.\u201d \ud83d\ude06<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>I said, \u201cTotally. You <em>know<\/em> when it\u2019s not it. But what about when it could be, but the other person\u2019s dragging two unchecked suitcases of baggage?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s be real, dear readers: sometimes we hold onto past trauma because letting it go feels like paying a hefty airline fee to check it in.. Releasing it takes inner work we don\u2019t always want to do \ud83d\ude2e\u200d\ud83d\udca8<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>Accepting our sins is the hardest part\u2026<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p>So yeah, no escaping it\u2014we\u2019ll always have a score.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But it hits harder if we\u2019re too obvious and haven\u2019t given ourselves time to fo free in the trip..<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p><em>Are you traveling to enjoy the ride or to impress?&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A trip is the ultimate BS detector for emotions! It\u2019s like putting your soul under a spotlight.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p>Here\u2019s a gem I came across this week from Ukrainian culture:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p>In an old film, \u00ab\u0421\u043e\u0442\u0432\u043e\u0440\u0438 \u0431\u043e\u0439\u00bb,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>the main character is asked:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;How do you feel about women?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He replies:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;They&#8217;re all the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Except maybe one.&#8221;<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group is-vertical is-layout-flex wp-container-core-group-is-layout-8cf370e7 wp-block-group-is-layout-flex\">\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Well my dears, You name it\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bye now! \ud83d\ude3d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-post-featured-image\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"827\" height=\"988\" src=\"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/IMG_7910.jpg\" class=\"attachment-post-thumbnail size-post-thumbnail wp-post-image\" alt=\"\" style=\"object-fit:cover;\" srcset=\"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/IMG_7910.jpg 827w, https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/IMG_7910-251x300.jpg 251w, https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/IMG_7910-768x918.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 827px) 100vw, 827px\" \/><\/figure>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You aren\u2019t my call.. I\u2019m not yours Before you said \u201cI\u2019m in love with\u201d\u2014 travel with them first&#8230; Trust me! I\u2019ve always thought you really get to know someone when you\u2019re traveling.. A Michelin bill hurts less than a jet-lagged ego without its Instagram filter \ud83d\ude05 Yes?Well, you know I like to tell the naked truth, simply because: Travel strips away the polished dinners and curated Instagram stories&#8230;You see if someone\u2019s truly with you\u2026 or just tagging along \ud83d\ude2e\u200d\ud83d\udca8 Why does this matter? If you\u2019re out here \u201clooking for something\u201d or stuck in a \u201cthis wasn\u2019t the plan but I want it to work\u201d vibe, this test never fails&#8230; Please don&#8217;t thank me yet haha We all\u2014and I mean all\u2014wear our patterns on our faces, whether we\u2019re chasing one or just rolling with it.&nbsp; Except for a few of us who are total wild cards.. Nobody knows if we\u2019re looking or just living\u2026 lol Gossip Sesh: So, I was chilling with my girls in Central Park a few weeks back, and I told them, \u201cI figured it out\u2014we keep dating the same guy, same pattern, over and over&#8230; But this time, I\u2019m opting out.\u201d One of them goes, \u201cKim, maybe we should just date a bunch at once if that pattern thing holds true, haha.\u201d I laughed and said, \u201cLook, I don\u2019t think I have a set \u2018type\u2019 for emotional connections \u2018cause I\u2019m not even looking. Guys always ask me on the first date, \u2018What are you looking for?\u2019 and I just crack up like, \u2018I\u2019m not looking!\u2019 \ud83d\ude04 Poor dudes get so deflated \u2026 but I\u2019m just out here living free.\u201d One of my girls hit me with, \u201cKim, you\u2019re a math nerd, so even randomness is a pattern.\u201d&nbsp; I shot back, laughing, \u201cHaha, maybe that\u2019s why in math it\u2019s called a prime number.\u201d Another friend was wrestling with her own pattern, which she called an \u201cunlucky coincidence.\u201d&nbsp; She\u2019s always chasing the guy who\u2019s too good to be true but ends up crushed when her Disney fairytale fantasy falls apart \ud83d\ude2e\u200d\ud83d\udca8 I told them all, in my loudest voice:&nbsp; \u201cLadies, let\u2019s keep it real. You can\u2019t fulfill a need and expect a double jackpot.&nbsp; Sometimes we romanticize the vibe, slap on our project manager hat, and treat the other person like a messy Excel sheet with a \u2018work in progress\u2019 sign.&nbsp; It\u2019s simple: if the chemistry\u2019s fire, the emotional availability\u2019s probably not there.&nbsp; In math, we call that a trade-off\u2014or in regular talk, the \u2018expectation paradox.\u2019\u201d \ud83e\udd13 Dear reader, let\u2019s break it down logically (works for any kind of human connection): You can\u2019t have A (Chemistry) and B (Emotional Availability) at the same time in this system. In math or logic, it\u2019s called a trade-off: A \u2227 B = \u2205(\u201cHaving both is impossible in this setup.\u201d) Have a sense of humor about it, lol\u2026&nbsp; Let me translate: \u275dWhat a lot of folks are living isn\u2019t a relationship\u2014it\u2019s a buggy algorithm.\u275e OK, second confession: I was with a guy I really cared about.&nbsp; I visited his country, he saw my soft side.&nbsp; He came to mine, I saw his.&nbsp; Then we both ended up in a third continent neither of us called home\u2026&nbsp; Damn! We both saw each other\u2019s raw, unfiltered core..\ud83d\ude2e\u200d\ud83d\udca8 Point is: ideals don\u2019t exist in real life. Maybe in daydreams or rom-coms, but that\u2019s it. That\u2019s why I approach everything and everyone around me from a real, present, grounded place.&nbsp; I don\u2019t base my interactions on \u201cif it was\u201d or \u201cif it could be.\u201d&nbsp; I\u2019m not here for those \u201cif only\u201d or \u201csomeday\u201d speeches.. Sorry, but I don\u2019t paint fake horizons and I don\u2019t force them either. So\u2026 sometimes we leaving a date like\u2026 (a casual thing, or even a relationship) wondering about the \u201cscore\u201d haha \ud83e\uddd0 The other day, I was joking with the guys at a bar, saying: \u201cI think we all keep a mental score with anyone we go out with.\u201d One of them piped up, \u201cKim, the worst part isn\u2019t the score\u2014it\u2019s deciding if it\u2019s worth reconnecting or just moving on.\u201d He adds: \u201cIt\u2019s like that meme where you walk away stone-faced but inside you\u2019re like, \u2018Don\u2019t even call me.\u2019 It\u2019s basically an emotional job interview, lol.\u201d \ud83d\ude06 I said, \u201cTotally. You know when it\u2019s not it. But what about when it could be, but the other person\u2019s dragging two unchecked suitcases of baggage?\u201d Let\u2019s be real, dear readers: sometimes we hold onto past trauma because letting it go feels like paying a hefty airline fee to check it in.. Releasing it takes inner work we don\u2019t always want to do \ud83d\ude2e\u200d\ud83d\udca8 Accepting our sins is the hardest part\u2026 So yeah, no escaping it\u2014we\u2019ll always have a score.&nbsp; But it hits harder if we\u2019re too obvious and haven\u2019t given ourselves time to fo free in the trip.. Are you traveling to enjoy the ride or to impress?&nbsp; A trip is the ultimate BS detector for emotions! It\u2019s like putting your soul under a spotlight. Here\u2019s a gem I came across this week from Ukrainian culture: In an old film, \u00ab\u0421\u043e\u0442\u0432\u043e\u0440\u0438 \u0431\u043e\u0439\u00bb, the main character is asked: &#8220;How do you feel about women?&#8221; He replies: &#8220;They&#8217;re all the same. Except maybe one.&#8221; Well my dears, You name it\u2026 Bye now! \ud83d\ude3d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":381,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-380","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/380","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=380"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/380\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":384,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/380\/revisions\/384"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/381"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=380"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=380"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=380"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}