This week, I stumbled upon a Spanish song on Apple Music\u2019s shuffle mode called H\u00e1blate de m\u00ed<\/em><\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The guy in the song says something like, before you go chasing answers out there, you\u2019ve got to ask yourself first\u2014as if, out of nowhere, that inner voice you carry starts speaking for the first time and whispers, \u201cLook at yourself, know yourself, listen to what\u2019s going on inside.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n So often, we\u2019re caught up looking outward, chasing that romantic spark, pinning our hopes on someone else\u2014while they, without even realizing it, slam the book shut, terrified of your potential meltdown (poor things, they\u2019re so scarred from dealing with insecure types they practically draft a breakup contract).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Alright, reader, buckle up, because the Gossip Sesh<\/em><\/strong> is coming in hot. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You know my vibe\u2014raw, straight-up, but with that sassy-intellectual flair. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Nobody fries their first batch of fritters without getting a little splattered, haha<\/p>\n\n\n\n So, before we dive in, go read the disclaimer on my website. \ud83e\udd13<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n This week, I\u2019ve been chewing on the idea of \u201cTell me about me.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s a special topic, but not in the way where someone else spells out your worth for you\u2014If you\u2019re expecting that from this post, sneak out the back door now\u2014I\u2019m not here to coddle you. \ud83d\ude12<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are plenty of books out there for that. \ud83e\uddd0<\/p>\n\n\n\n What I will<\/strong> say is this: no one\u2019s to blame for how our surroundings mess with us. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s on us to talk to ourselves, to figure out what\u2019s going on inside, before we try to make sense of the outside\u2014It\u2019s a tall order to juggle both your inner and outer worlds when you\u2019re facing a situation that drags up old insecurities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sure, some people, when you don\u2019t meet their expectations or they\u2019re scared of hurting you, will \u201ccancel\u201d you cold. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I won\u2019t lie\u2014it might sting, because it feels like they didn\u2019t value you the way you think you deserve. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But when you\u2019ve done the inner work, the way you process it shows you\u2019re not out here begging for external validation to define who you are.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s the real gap, dear reader, between past relationships and new interactions. Back when you didn\u2019t know yourself, you\u2019d stick around, trying to \u201cprove your worth\u201d like you\u2019re some Emotional Project Manager, maybe even stir up some drama to show you didn\u2019t invent those expectations all by yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But once you\u2019ve done the dirty work of self-discovery, a couple of conversations and their behavior are enough to give you the full diagnosis of any interaction. <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n When you know yourself, you spot their patterns and realize you\u2019re not here to repeat old cycles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s real growth\u2014not becoming cynical, but getting sharper at spotting risks. You know I\u2019m a finance pro, not an emotions expert, but you start reading emotional cues like a P&L statement for an investment\u2014in this case, an emotional one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Your worth doesn\u2019t hinge on someone else seeing it; it\u2019s about you feeling it and living it for yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Now, here\u2019s my empathy take haha<\/p>\n\n\n\n Did it hurt? Probably. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But you don\u2019t hand over your pain like it defines you\u2014not to that person, not to the situation.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n A friend of mine once told me, \u201cKim, you\u2019re wrong. Science says you can\u2019t control emotions<\/strong>, only the thoughts you have when you feel them, and from there, you shape your behavior.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Someone special, a friend of mine, I used to share good talks with put it another way: \u201cKim, it\u2019s not about blocking the emotion\u2014it\u2019s about facing it, understanding it, and then acting in a way that serves you.\u201d But, darlings, to walk those halls, you\u2019ve got to unlock a few doors of self-exploration, and every journey\u2019s different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s talk \u2018bout me with myself \ud83e\udd0d<\/p>\n\n\n\n So, yeah\u2026 lots of people have patterns where they want intimacy without the emotional strings attached.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Honey, lights off disconnects the memories\u2026 <\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n haha, that secret\u2019s not mine, but I won\u2019t snitch on the sinner..<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n **Gossip Sesh**<\/p>\n\n\n\n This friend of mine spilled his new guilt-free interaction strategy, and it\u2019s wild:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Turning off the lights can have a few reasons, but in this case, it makes sense for him. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s why: \ud83d\udc40<\/p>\n\n\n\n – He avoids eye contact because looking into someone\u2019s eyes makes the moment feel too real, too intimate, and that builds a bond.<\/p>\n\n\n\n – He\u2019s shielding himself from guilt or attachment: if he doesn\u2019t lock your image in his memory during the act, it\u2019s easier for him to compartmentalize and move on without feeling it was anything deep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n No one should judge this friend for keeping things more physical than emotional\u2014it\u2019s his personal game, focusing on the moment, not the person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n In other words, it\u2019s his way\u2014conscious or not\u2014of keeping the moment from meaning too much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And here\u2019s the thing: that says nothing<\/strong> about the value or appeal of the person he\u2019s with. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s more about his emotional limits and how he manages (or dodges) connection. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n Personally, I say everyone handles their demons their own way<\/strong>\u2014some lock them up, but me? I prefer to decapitate<\/strong> mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s the irony of his game\u2014I\u2019m just kidding about it haha<\/p>\n\n\n\n My friend looks at me and says he\u2019s an adult dealing with adults, as if that\u2019s an excuse for being selfish or lacking empathy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But am.. On my last trip, I realized the men in that city fear real maturity like it\u2019s screaming, \u201cYou\u2019re old!\u201d<\/em><\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n To me, a mature man is hotter\u2014he\u2019s faced his ghosts, takes responsibility for himself first, and that applies to any gender in the human species.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n After hearing my friend\u2019s confession\u2014btw, sometimes I think my friends see me as some kind of priestess, haha\u2014I came up with my new premium filter for emotional interactions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Talk to me about your morality.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014KimV<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n Because, honestly, I don\u2019t believe in villains or victims in emotional interactions\u2014that\u2019s pure Hollywood drama. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I think we build our sense of self with our moral codes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I once said I don\u2019t judge others by my standards\u2014those are for my own conscience. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But, darling, I\u2019ll measure you by yours.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n Stop playing cards like you\u2019re holding a hand full of jokers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You cast yourself as judge, jury, and culprit of your own excuses. An excuse like \u201cwe\u2019re adults, let\u2019s skip the drama\u201d is like a cheap, unaged bottle of BS. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Dear ones, let\u2019s not dress up situations. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s not that you can\u2019t<\/strong> be direct\u2014you just don\u2019t want<\/strong> to be. It\u2019s ok!<\/p>\n\n\n\n You decide your own sentence, after all\u2014you\u2019re the judge of your own conscience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In this world, there\u2019s no parole; your morals are what condition your freedom. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n\n\n\n Friends, let\u2019s cherish the pretty memories but also make new ones worth keeping.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Choose where to spend your energy\u2014fight for it or let it go\u2014remember, ignoring something is growth too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because the most important person in your story is waiting to hear from you. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n Bye now! <\/p>\n\n\n My dear readers, here I am, true to our weekly rendezvous\u2026 This week, I stumbled upon a Spanish song on Apple Music\u2019s shuffle mode called H\u00e1blate de m\u00ed. The guy in the song says something like, before you go chasing answers out there, you\u2019ve got to ask yourself first\u2014as if, out of nowhere, that inner voice you carry starts speaking for the first time and whispers, \u201cLook at yourself, know yourself, listen to what\u2019s going on inside.\u201d So often, we\u2019re caught up looking outward, chasing that romantic spark, pinning our hopes on someone else\u2014while they, without even realizing it, slam the book shut, terrified of your potential meltdown (poor things, they\u2019re so scarred from dealing with insecure types they practically draft a breakup contract). Alright, reader, buckle up, because the Gossip Sesh is coming in hot. You know my vibe\u2014raw, straight-up, but with that sassy-intellectual flair. Nobody fries their first batch of fritters without getting a little splattered, haha So, before we dive in, go read the disclaimer on my website. \ud83e\udd13 This week, I\u2019ve been chewing on the idea of \u201cTell me about me.\u201d It\u2019s a special topic, but not in the way where someone else spells out your worth for you\u2014If you\u2019re expecting that from this post, sneak out the back door now\u2014I\u2019m not here to coddle you. \ud83d\ude12 There are plenty of books out there for that. \ud83e\uddd0 What I will say is this: no one\u2019s to blame for how our surroundings mess with us. It\u2019s on us to talk to ourselves, to figure out what\u2019s going on inside, before we try to make sense of the outside\u2014It\u2019s a tall order to juggle both your inner and outer worlds when you\u2019re facing a situation that drags up old insecurities. Sure, some people, when you don\u2019t meet their expectations or they\u2019re scared of hurting you, will \u201ccancel\u201d you cold. I won\u2019t lie\u2014it might sting, because it feels like they didn\u2019t value you the way you think you deserve. But when you\u2019ve done the inner work, the way you process it shows you\u2019re not out here begging for external validation to define who you are. That\u2019s the real gap, dear reader, between past relationships and new interactions. Back when you didn\u2019t know yourself, you\u2019d stick around, trying to \u201cprove your worth\u201d like you\u2019re some Emotional Project Manager, maybe even stir up some drama to show you didn\u2019t invent those expectations all by yourself. But once you\u2019ve done the dirty work of self-discovery, a couple of conversations and their behavior are enough to give you the full diagnosis of any interaction. When you know yourself, you spot their patterns and realize you\u2019re not here to repeat old cycles. That\u2019s real growth\u2014not becoming cynical, but getting sharper at spotting risks. You know I\u2019m a finance pro, not an emotions expert, but you start reading emotional cues like a P&L statement for an investment\u2014in this case, an emotional one. Your worth doesn\u2019t hinge on someone else seeing it; it\u2019s about you feeling it and living it for yourself. Now, here\u2019s my empathy take haha Did it hurt? Probably. But you don\u2019t hand over your pain like it defines you\u2014not to that person, not to the situation. A friend of mine once told me, \u201cKim, you\u2019re wrong. Science says you can\u2019t control emotions, only the thoughts you have when you feel them, and from there, you shape your behavior.\u201d Someone special, a friend of mine, I used to share good talks with put it another way: \u201cKim, it\u2019s not about blocking the emotion\u2014it\u2019s about facing it, understanding it, and then acting in a way that serves you.\u201d But, darlings, to walk those halls, you\u2019ve got to unlock a few doors of self-exploration, and every journey\u2019s different. That\u2019s talk \u2018bout me with myself \ud83e\udd0d So, yeah\u2026 lots of people have patterns where they want intimacy without the emotional strings attached. Honey, lights off disconnects the memories\u2026 haha, that secret\u2019s not mine, but I won\u2019t snitch on the sinner.. **Gossip Sesh** This friend of mine spilled his new guilt-free interaction strategy, and it\u2019s wild: Turning off the lights can have a few reasons, but in this case, it makes sense for him. Here\u2019s why: \ud83d\udc40 – He avoids eye contact because looking into someone\u2019s eyes makes the moment feel too real, too intimate, and that builds a bond. – He\u2019s shielding himself from guilt or attachment: if he doesn\u2019t lock your image in his memory during the act, it\u2019s easier for him to compartmentalize and move on without feeling it was anything deep. No one should judge this friend for keeping things more physical than emotional\u2014it\u2019s his personal game, focusing on the moment, not the person. In other words, it\u2019s his way\u2014conscious or not\u2014of keeping the moment from meaning too much. And here\u2019s the thing: that says nothing about the value or appeal of the person he\u2019s with. It\u2019s more about his emotional limits and how he manages (or dodges) connection. Personally, I say everyone handles their demons their own way\u2014some lock them up, but me? I prefer to decapitate mine. Here\u2019s the irony of his game\u2014I\u2019m just kidding about it haha My friend looks at me and says he\u2019s an adult dealing with adults, as if that\u2019s an excuse for being selfish or lacking empathy. But am.. On my last trip, I realized the men in that city fear real maturity like it\u2019s screaming, \u201cYou\u2019re old!\u201d To me, a mature man is hotter\u2014he\u2019s faced his ghosts, takes responsibility for himself first, and that applies to any gender in the human species. After hearing my friend\u2019s confession\u2014btw, sometimes I think my friends see me as some kind of priestess, haha\u2014I came up with my new premium filter for emotional interactions: Talk to me about your morality. \u2014KimV Because, honestly, I don\u2019t believe in villains or victims in emotional interactions\u2014that\u2019s pure Hollywood drama. I think we build our sense of self with our moral codes. I once said I don\u2019t judge others by my standards\u2014those are for my own conscience. But, darling, I\u2019ll measure you by yours. Stop playing cards like you\u2019re holding a hand full of jokers. You cast yourself as judge, jury, and culprit of your own excuses. An excuse like \u201cwe\u2019re adults, let\u2019s skip the drama\u201d is like a cheap, unaged bottle of BS. Dear ones, let\u2019s not dress up situations. It\u2019s not that you can\u2019t be direct\u2014you just don\u2019t want to be. It\u2019s ok! You decide your own sentence, after all\u2014you\u2019re the judge of your own conscience. In this world, there\u2019s no parole; your morals are what condition your freedom. \ud83d\ude09 Friends, let\u2019s cherish the pretty memories but also make new ones worth keeping. Choose where to spend your energy\u2014fight for it or let it go\u2014remember, ignoring something is growth too. Because the most important person in your story is waiting to hear from you. Bye now! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":394,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-393","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/393","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=393"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/393\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":395,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/393\/revisions\/395"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/394"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=393"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=393"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=393"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/WhatsApp-Image-2025-08-13-at-17.44.15.jpeg\")
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