The dangerous part is when someone knows themselves but still chooses the image. That\u2019s when the relationship becomes performance, not bonding. And you end up being either prop or threat, depending on what the script calls for. I\u2019m not saying this in judgment: everyone survives however they can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The hardest thing in life is to look your own shadow straight in the face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have to accept that it bothers me to simplify the complex just so it becomes digestible\u2026 I avoid distortions all the time\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When something doesn\u2019t inspire trust, it\u2019s like being in a room where every alarm goes off\u2026 I\u2019d rather not amplify the dissonance that I detect it in someone\u2014especially when they\u2019ve already detected it in themselves and still chose to stay inside the noise\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Me? No, dear reader, I don\u2019t hand out information, energy, or access. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are random people you interact with who can be dangerous\u2014dangerously incompetent out there\u2014so I always keep a hidden bomb that gets me out of that role once I step back far enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not everyone wants to be melody inside the noise, and that\u2019s neither good nor bad, because I think good is subjective in a world where we\u2019re all bad in some way\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This week I told some friends that, as humans, there are good people without ethics and bad people with ethics, and even though it hurts to admit it, the difference lies in ethics before humanity\u2026 because humanity without ethics is pure impulse, and impulse disguises itself very easily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But ethics depends on the values you were raised with\u2026 but careful with the nuance I\u2019m hinting at: if ethics depend on the values you were raised with, then there are incompatible ethics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Someone can be \u201cethical\u201d inside a value system that to you is monstrous. Or they can be ethical out of fear, reputation, or calculation\u2014not conviction. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They can still be useful, but it\u2019s not the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Still, I want to touch on a practical truth: to relate, to do business, to live without drama, what you need is not \u201cgoodness.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s consistent principles + self-control + capacity to repair<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The melody isn\u2019t \u201cbeing good.\u201d It\u2019s being coherent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But anyway, this isn\u2019t the post to expand on that topic\u2026\ud83e\udd78<\/p>\n\n\n\n My point here is how crazy it is, metaphorically, that two fires with different combustion seem like they\u2019re going to burn everything down\u2014except you realize the fire that looked red was just soot, and the fire that was actually blue doesn\u2019t rebuild flames\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n It withdraws in silence because, as I said before, it doesn\u2019t negotiate conditions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That soot can reignite \u201cwithout external agents\u201d whenever the conditions call for it (heat + hidden fuel)\u2026 be careful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes I take breaks because the superficial exhausts me; my energy is like blue fire\u2014susceptible to contamination\u2026 that\u2019s when I distance myself from everything to purify my center, my new philosophy says:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not everything that burns is fire, and not every fire is meant to burn just anywhere.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n The power of choice only works in people who are already conscious\u2026 if there\u2019s no consciousness, you\u2019re just reacting, not choosing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Entering something toxic knowing you\u2019re going to burn rules just to explore an edge\u2014that I call \u201cdangerous alchemy.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Testing a version of yourself under particular conditions only serves to rewrite the book\u2026 But no, there\u2019s no lesson in self-inflicted burns; the lesson only appears when you integrate and repair\u2014otherwise it\u2019s just an epic repetition of scorched pages \ud83d\ude12<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I talk about non-regulated people, I mean their inability to bond without dominating or manipulating\u2026 they never show their vulnerable side. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Pappa is the closest person I know who loves living in \u2018domination\u2019 performance, and a few others.. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I call them \u201cconscious ppl with a twist\u201d: they use awareness to justify themselves like it\u2019s an Olympic talent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Chemistry doesn\u2019t negotiate with logic. Thinking otherwise is confusing desire with a PowerPoint presentation \ud83e\udd37\u200d\u2640\ufe0f<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m not a minion<\/strong>\u2026 I don\u2019t negotiate what I think just to please\u2026 nor do I pretend if I don\u2019t find ethics in your essence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And if the world is absurd: people think \u201csecond chance\u201d is an automatic virtue. Sometimes it is noble. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But sometimes it\u2019s low self-love with moral branding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Personally, I break with the romanticism of \u201csoulmate\u201d or \u201ceternal self\u201d\u2026 I don\u2019t believe we have a soul inside us; we can only tune into it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I explained that in the blog post from several weeks ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Personally, \u201cBeing cheese is kind of comfort zone\u201d\u2014that\u2019s what I think. It\u2019s not love; it\u2019s more fear of facing something outside the perimeter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But anyway, you know how I am. I just write my thoughts because, like Flannery O\u2019Connor said: \u201cI write because I don\u2019t know what I think until I read what I say.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n My new philosophy says: <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBe that don\u2019t be you, be that what moves you to be.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Someone once told me I was performing and listed several things that, according to his psychology, helped him deduce me\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n I enjoyed watching him build stories, but I couldn\u2019t prove him wrong because that would\u2019ve required two things: \u201cshowing him my personal information to someone I just met and confronting him.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n I don\u2019t think he deserved either one, because if he prefers to assume and tell you \u2018you\u2019re exactly what he pictured\u2019<\/strong>, the healthiest thing is to let him keep thinking it and let your own footprint in the world speak for you. \ud83e\udd13<\/p>\n\n\n\n I just really want to owe anyone explanations just because I \u2018belong\u2019 to them, but I also don\u2019t want to be disposable just because I don’t give them\u2026 though that doesn\u2019t depend on me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I don\u2019t hold onto anyone who\u2019s scared and wants to run. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you don\u2019t dare to really know me, I let you go because tying anything down isn\u2019t in my nature.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I don\u2019t want romance scripts\u2026 but I also don\u2019t want to be a recreational activity\u2026 so good luck, sincerely! \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n Well, when you\u2019re single the only thing you look for is a \u201chappy ending\u201d in everything, but happy ending is not strictly the same as something that lasts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For me, performing on autopilot means choosing anesthesia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Bye now! <\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n The instinct I\u2019ve mentioned so much\u2014the one I repress because it\u2019s primitive\u2014reacts before reason does\u2026 in other words, the anesthesia kicks in without you even noticing. Instinct doesn\u2019t knock on the door; it climbs through the window and then reason loses the entire \u201cwhy\u201d folder\u2026 Instinct switches to automatic protection mode before you can even start asking questions, or it makes you feel the illusion that you\u2019re in control when you\u2019re actually in defense mode because the body decided to shut down sensitivity. They say there are doors you shouldn\u2019t touch twice\u2026 there are non-regulated people. I didn\u2019t know that until I met one who was fully aware of himself and his non-regulation but was way too busy performing. The dangerous part is when someone knows themselves but still chooses the image. That\u2019s when the relationship becomes performance, not bonding. And you end up being either prop or threat, depending on what the script calls for. I\u2019m not saying this in judgment: everyone survives however they can. The hardest thing in life is to look your own shadow straight in the face. I have to accept that it bothers me to simplify the complex just so it becomes digestible\u2026 I avoid distortions all the time\u2026 When something doesn\u2019t inspire trust, it\u2019s like being in a room where every alarm goes off\u2026 I\u2019d rather not amplify the dissonance that I detect it in someone\u2014especially when they\u2019ve already detected it in themselves and still chose to stay inside the noise\u2026 Me? No, dear reader, I don\u2019t hand out information, energy, or access. There are random people you interact with who can be dangerous\u2014dangerously incompetent out there\u2014so I always keep a hidden bomb that gets me out of that role once I step back far enough. Not everyone wants to be melody inside the noise, and that\u2019s neither good nor bad, because I think good is subjective in a world where we\u2019re all bad in some way\u2026 This week I told some friends that, as humans, there are good people without ethics and bad people with ethics, and even though it hurts to admit it, the difference lies in ethics before humanity\u2026 because humanity without ethics is pure impulse, and impulse disguises itself very easily. But ethics depends on the values you were raised with\u2026 but careful with the nuance I\u2019m hinting at: if ethics depend on the values you were raised with, then there are incompatible ethics. Someone can be \u201cethical\u201d inside a value system that to you is monstrous. Or they can be ethical out of fear, reputation, or calculation\u2014not conviction. They can still be useful, but it\u2019s not the same. Still, I want to touch on a practical truth: to relate, to do business, to live without drama, what you need is not \u201cgoodness.\u201d It\u2019s consistent principles + self-control + capacity to repair. The melody isn\u2019t \u201cbeing good.\u201d It\u2019s being coherent. But anyway, this isn\u2019t the post to expand on that topic\u2026\ud83e\udd78 My point here is how crazy it is, metaphorically, that two fires with different combustion seem like they\u2019re going to burn everything down\u2014except you realize the fire that looked red was just soot, and the fire that was actually blue doesn\u2019t rebuild flames\u2026 It withdraws in silence because, as I said before, it doesn\u2019t negotiate conditions. That soot can reignite \u201cwithout external agents\u201d whenever the conditions call for it (heat + hidden fuel)\u2026 be careful. Sometimes I take breaks because the superficial exhausts me; my energy is like blue fire\u2014susceptible to contamination\u2026 that\u2019s when I distance myself from everything to purify my center, my new philosophy says: Not everything that burns is fire, and not every fire is meant to burn just anywhere. The power of choice only works in people who are already conscious\u2026 if there\u2019s no consciousness, you\u2019re just reacting, not choosing. Entering something toxic knowing you\u2019re going to burn rules just to explore an edge\u2014that I call \u201cdangerous alchemy.\u201d Testing a version of yourself under particular conditions only serves to rewrite the book\u2026 But no, there\u2019s no lesson in self-inflicted burns; the lesson only appears when you integrate and repair\u2014otherwise it\u2019s just an epic repetition of scorched pages \ud83d\ude12 When I talk about non-regulated people, I mean their inability to bond without dominating or manipulating\u2026 they never show their vulnerable side. Pappa is the closest person I know who loves living in \u2018domination\u2019 performance, and a few others.. I call them \u201cconscious ppl with a twist\u201d: they use awareness to justify themselves like it\u2019s an Olympic talent. Chemistry doesn\u2019t negotiate with logic. Thinking otherwise is confusing desire with a PowerPoint presentation \ud83e\udd37\u200d\u2640\ufe0f I\u2019m not a minion\u2026 I don\u2019t negotiate what I think just to please\u2026 nor do I pretend if I don\u2019t find ethics in your essence. And if the world is absurd: people think \u201csecond chance\u201d is an automatic virtue. Sometimes it is noble. But sometimes it\u2019s low self-love with moral branding. Personally, I break with the romanticism of \u201csoulmate\u201d or \u201ceternal self\u201d\u2026 I don\u2019t believe we have a soul inside us; we can only tune into it. I explained that in the blog post from several weeks ago. Personally, \u201cBeing cheese is kind of comfort zone\u201d\u2014that\u2019s what I think. It\u2019s not love; it\u2019s more fear of facing something outside the perimeter. But anyway, you know how I am. I just write my thoughts because, like Flannery O\u2019Connor said: \u201cI write because I don\u2019t know what I think until I read what I say.\u201d My new philosophy says: \u201cBe that don\u2019t be you, be that what moves you to be.\u201d Someone once told me I was performing and listed several things that, according to his psychology, helped him deduce me\u2026 I enjoyed watching him build stories, but I couldn\u2019t prove him wrong because that would\u2019ve required two things: \u201cshowing him my personal information to someone I just met and confronting him.\u201d I don\u2019t think he deserved either one, because if he prefers to assume and tell you \u2018you\u2019re exactly what he pictured\u2019, the healthiest thing is to let him keep thinking it and let your own footprint in the world speak for you. \ud83e\udd13 I just really want to owe anyone explanations just because I \u2018belong\u2019 to them, but I also don\u2019t want to be disposable just because I don’t give them\u2026 though that doesn\u2019t depend on me. I don\u2019t hold onto anyone who\u2019s scared and wants to run. If you don\u2019t dare to really know me, I let you go because tying anything down isn\u2019t in my nature. I don\u2019t want romance scripts\u2026 but I also don\u2019t want to be a recreational activity\u2026 so good luck, sincerely! \ud83d\ude09 Well, when you\u2019re single the only thing you look for is a \u201chappy ending\u201d in everything, but happy ending is not strictly the same as something that lasts. For me, performing on autopilot means choosing anesthesia. Bye now!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":562,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-561","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/561","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=561"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/561\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":570,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/561\/revisions\/570"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/562"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=561"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=561"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/omnivoicebox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=561"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n
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