You aren’t my call.. I’m not yours
Before you said “I’m in love with”— travel with them first… Trust me!
I’ve always thought you really get to know someone when you’re traveling.. A Michelin bill hurts less than a jet-lagged ego without its Instagram filter 😅
Yes?
Well, you know I like to tell the naked truth, simply because:
- You can’t hide your “routines”
- There’s no chance to wear a mask when you’re out of your comfort zone.. There’s tiredness, mess, decisions, surprises… and that’s where the essence shows up.
Travel strips away the polished dinners and curated Instagram stories…
You see if someone’s truly with you… or just tagging along 😮💨
Why does this matter?
If you’re out here “looking for something” or stuck in a “this wasn’t the plan but I want it to work” vibe, this test never fails… Please don’t thank me yet haha
We all—and I mean all—wear our patterns on our faces, whether we’re chasing one or just rolling with it.
Except for a few of us who are total wild cards..
Nobody knows if we’re looking or just living… lol
Gossip Sesh:
So, I was chilling with my girls in Central Park a few weeks back, and I told them, “I figured it out—we keep dating the same guy, same pattern, over and over… But this time, I’m opting out.”
One of them goes, “Kim, maybe we should just date a bunch at once if that pattern thing holds true, haha.”
I laughed and said, “Look, I don’t think I have a set ‘type’ for emotional connections ‘cause I’m not even looking. Guys always ask me on the first date, ‘What are you looking for?’ and I just crack up like, ‘I’m not looking!’ 😄 Poor dudes get so deflated … but I’m just out here living free.”
One of my girls hit me with, “Kim, you’re a math nerd, so even randomness is a pattern.”
I shot back, laughing, “Haha, maybe that’s why in math it’s called a prime number.”
Another friend was wrestling with her own pattern, which she called an “unlucky coincidence.”
She’s always chasing the guy who’s too good to be true but ends up crushed when her Disney fairytale fantasy falls apart 😮💨
I told them all, in my loudest voice:
“Ladies, let’s keep it real. You can’t fulfill a need and expect a double jackpot.
Sometimes we romanticize the vibe, slap on our project manager hat, and treat the other person like a messy Excel sheet with a ‘work in progress’ sign.
It’s simple: if the chemistry’s fire, the emotional availability’s probably not there.
In math, we call that a trade-off—or in regular talk, the ‘expectation paradox.’” 🤓
Dear reader, let’s break it down logically (works for any kind of human connection):
You can’t have A (Chemistry) and B (Emotional Availability) at the same time in this system.
In math or logic, it’s called a trade-off:
A ∧ B = ∅
(“Having both is impossible in this setup.”)
Have a sense of humor about it, lol…
Let me translate:
❝What a lot of folks are living isn’t a relationship—it’s a buggy algorithm.❞
OK, second confession:
I was with a guy I really cared about.
I visited his country, he saw my soft side.
He came to mine, I saw his.
Then we both ended up in a third continent neither of us called home…
Damn! We both saw each other’s raw, unfiltered core..😮💨
Point is: ideals don’t exist in real life. Maybe in daydreams or rom-coms, but that’s it.
That’s why I approach everything and everyone around me from a real, present, grounded place.
I don’t base my interactions on “if it was” or “if it could be.”
I’m not here for those “if only” or “someday” speeches.. Sorry, but I don’t paint fake horizons and I don’t force them either.
So… sometimes we leaving a date like… (a casual thing, or even a relationship) wondering about the “score” haha 🧐
The other day, I was joking with the guys at a bar, saying:
“I think we all keep a mental score with anyone we go out with.”
One of them piped up, “Kim, the worst part isn’t the score—it’s deciding if it’s worth reconnecting or just moving on.”
He adds: “It’s like that meme where you walk away stone-faced but inside you’re like, ‘Don’t even call me.’ It’s basically an emotional job interview, lol.” 😆
I said, “Totally. You know when it’s not it. But what about when it could be, but the other person’s dragging two unchecked suitcases of baggage?”
Let’s be real, dear readers: sometimes we hold onto past trauma because letting it go feels like paying a hefty airline fee to check it in.. Releasing it takes inner work we don’t always want to do 😮💨
Accepting our sins is the hardest part…
So yeah, no escaping it—we’ll always have a score.
But it hits harder if we’re too obvious and haven’t given ourselves time to fo free in the trip..
Are you traveling to enjoy the ride or to impress?
A trip is the ultimate BS detector for emotions! It’s like putting your soul under a spotlight.
Here’s a gem I came across this week from Ukrainian culture:
In an old film, «Сотвори бой»,
the main character is asked:
“How do you feel about women?”
He replies:
“They’re all the same.
Except maybe one.”
Well my dears, You name it…
Bye now! 😽
