My dear readers, here I am, true to our weekly rendezvous…
This week, I stumbled upon a Spanish song on Apple Music’s shuffle mode called Háblate de mí.
The guy in the song says something like, before you go chasing answers out there, you’ve got to ask yourself first—as if, out of nowhere, that inner voice you carry starts speaking for the first time and whispers, “Look at yourself, know yourself, listen to what’s going on inside.”
So often, we’re caught up looking outward, chasing that romantic spark, pinning our hopes on someone else—while they, without even realizing it, slam the book shut, terrified of your potential meltdown (poor things, they’re so scarred from dealing with insecure types they practically draft a breakup contract).
Alright, reader, buckle up, because the Gossip Sesh is coming in hot.
You know my vibe—raw, straight-up, but with that sassy-intellectual flair.
Nobody fries their first batch of fritters without getting a little splattered, haha
So, before we dive in, go read the disclaimer on my website. 🤓
This week, I’ve been chewing on the idea of “Tell me about me.”
It’s a special topic, but not in the way where someone else spells out your worth for you—If you’re expecting that from this post, sneak out the back door now—I’m not here to coddle you. 😒
There are plenty of books out there for that. 🧐
What I will say is this: no one’s to blame for how our surroundings mess with us.
It’s on us to talk to ourselves, to figure out what’s going on inside, before we try to make sense of the outside—It’s a tall order to juggle both your inner and outer worlds when you’re facing a situation that drags up old insecurities.
Sure, some people, when you don’t meet their expectations or they’re scared of hurting you, will “cancel” you cold.
I won’t lie—it might sting, because it feels like they didn’t value you the way you think you deserve.
But when you’ve done the inner work, the way you process it shows you’re not out here begging for external validation to define who you are.
That’s the real gap, dear reader, between past relationships and new interactions. Back when you didn’t know yourself, you’d stick around, trying to “prove your worth” like you’re some Emotional Project Manager, maybe even stir up some drama to show you didn’t invent those expectations all by yourself.
But once you’ve done the dirty work of self-discovery, a couple of conversations and their behavior are enough to give you the full diagnosis of any interaction.
When you know yourself, you spot their patterns and realize you’re not here to repeat old cycles.
That’s real growth—not becoming cynical, but getting sharper at spotting risks. You know I’m a finance pro, not an emotions expert, but you start reading emotional cues like a P&L statement for an investment—in this case, an emotional one.
Your worth doesn’t hinge on someone else seeing it; it’s about you feeling it and living it for yourself.
Now, here’s my empathy take haha
Did it hurt? Probably.
But you don’t hand over your pain like it defines you—not to that person, not to the situation.
A friend of mine once told me, “Kim, you’re wrong. Science says you can’t control emotions, only the thoughts you have when you feel them, and from there, you shape your behavior.”
Someone special, a friend of mine, I used to share good talks with put it another way: “Kim, it’s not about blocking the emotion—it’s about facing it, understanding it, and then acting in a way that serves you.” But, darlings, to walk those halls, you’ve got to unlock a few doors of self-exploration, and every journey’s different.
That’s talk ‘bout me with myself 🤍
So, yeah… lots of people have patterns where they want intimacy without the emotional strings attached.
Honey, lights off disconnects the memories…
haha, that secret’s not mine, but I won’t snitch on the sinner..
**Gossip Sesh**
This friend of mine spilled his new guilt-free interaction strategy, and it’s wild:
Turning off the lights can have a few reasons, but in this case, it makes sense for him.
Here’s why: 👀
– He avoids eye contact because looking into someone’s eyes makes the moment feel too real, too intimate, and that builds a bond.
– He’s shielding himself from guilt or attachment: if he doesn’t lock your image in his memory during the act, it’s easier for him to compartmentalize and move on without feeling it was anything deep.
No one should judge this friend for keeping things more physical than emotional—it’s his personal game, focusing on the moment, not the person.
In other words, it’s his way—conscious or not—of keeping the moment from meaning too much.
And here’s the thing: that says nothing about the value or appeal of the person he’s with.
It’s more about his emotional limits and how he manages (or dodges) connection.
Personally, I say everyone handles their demons their own way—some lock them up, but me? I prefer to decapitate mine.
Here’s the irony of his game—I’m just kidding about it haha
My friend looks at me and says he’s an adult dealing with adults, as if that’s an excuse for being selfish or lacking empathy.
But am.. On my last trip, I realized the men in that city fear real maturity like it’s screaming, “You’re old!”
To me, a mature man is hotter—he’s faced his ghosts, takes responsibility for himself first, and that applies to any gender in the human species.
After hearing my friend’s confession—btw, sometimes I think my friends see me as some kind of priestess, haha—I came up with my new premium filter for emotional interactions:
Talk to me about your morality.
—KimV
Because, honestly, I don’t believe in villains or victims in emotional interactions—that’s pure Hollywood drama.
I think we build our sense of self with our moral codes.
I once said I don’t judge others by my standards—those are for my own conscience.
But, darling, I’ll measure you by yours.
Stop playing cards like you’re holding a hand full of jokers.
You cast yourself as judge, jury, and culprit of your own excuses. An excuse like “we’re adults, let’s skip the drama” is like a cheap, unaged bottle of BS.
Dear ones, let’s not dress up situations.
It’s not that you can’t be direct—you just don’t want to be. It’s ok!
You decide your own sentence, after all—you’re the judge of your own conscience.
In this world, there’s no parole; your morals are what condition your freedom. 😉
Friends, let’s cherish the pretty memories but also make new ones worth keeping.
Choose where to spend your energy—fight for it or let it go—remember, ignoring something is growth too.
Because the most important person in your story is waiting to hear from you.
Bye now!
