“Humanity, so imperfect in making mistakes but so perfect when they are aware to learn from them
So incapable of self-exploration but so capable of seeking to control its enviroment to create safe spaces
Always distracted in the alternative reality it lives in” -kimV-
Hey dear readers, I had an interesting chat with some friends recently that I want to share with you. The were talking about their preferences in romantic relationships, and it got me thinking.
Some of my fiends said they prefer to date who aren’t quite at their intellectual level. For instance, one straight guy said he doesn’t care what a girl has achieved in life-if he likes her personality, that’s enough, even if she can’t say anything particulary interesting. He’d still try to win her over.
A couple others agreed with this view. But then one friend spoke up and said he couldn’t be with someone (regardless of gender) who didn’t have their own independent life. He felt that usually, someone with a lower IQ would try to become too attached.
Why am I telling you all this? well, it shows different perspectives on the controversial topic of “what keeps us in a relationship when we’re looking for long-term interaction.”
Personaly, I’m not looking for a emotional parther. I believe that if you don’t search, you find the real one. I have many friends who get depressed looking for their ‘Prince Charming’, setting super high standards that they dont’t even meet themselves.
Me? I prefer a knight with some battle scars 😉
I think as humans, we’re looking for stability. We base our lives on building sage environments within what’s familiar to us in our lives. There’s a big difference between build a safe environment rather building a peaceful one, tho. A safe environment can be influenced by manipulation in emotional relationships, while a peaceful environment is built on freedom of choice – each person in the emotional interaction chooses to be with the other.
In my early blog posts, I used to say things like “I get bored of guys quickly” or “I always apply the four-day rule to avoid attachments.”
Ppl immediately assumed I liked to have different partners every two weeks haha 😄
It was fun period for me cuz I love analyzing ppl’s reactions to what I write. So that’s what I love humans-their ability to be critical.
Anyways, personally, I don’t think having many partners makes you attrative. The cheapest products in the market attact the most customers, you know what I mean😜
Ok, being serious, what I’m trying to say us that human relationships are based on the realease of dopamine. That chemical released in the brain at the start of interations is what keeps the “flame burning” as many ppl say.
Most humans prefer safe, stable, and familiar environments because they’re afraid to leave their comfort zone.
Me? haha well I always prefer the new, different, and unexplored 😎
There’s a phrase I love:
“No one ever really finishes knowing someone”
This is my favorite phrase ever cuz humans adjust their attitude in response to what the other person likes. Well, get this, if a person is outside their comfort zone, they’ll show who they really are. That’s why I can’t maintain an interaction with a person always within the same experiences -because they won’t show me who they really are 👽
Not showing who we really are is, by default, part of our way of surviving in different environments. We adjust our attitudes to our goals to achieve them.
If you think you know me, think again about the answer 👻
Deal breakers
We could hardly not implement them in interpersonal interactions, especially in a world of so many hopeless romantics 😮💨
I know, it’s hard not to get attached to someone when you overcome the barrier to avoid it. Even if we base our life on controlling emotions.. actually I consider myself as a heartbreaker cuz I don’t live to meet other people’s expectations, I only live to meet mine. It’s rude when it’s said dryly, but for me to imbue myself with a human being, he needs to be his best human version 😘
To streamline this, many books and speakers use the analogy of a muscle being exercised to grow or be shaped in a gym. We’ll only reach our best version when we expose ourselves to pain or discomfort in some area we need to improve. It’s that easy to identify in ourselves with this approach 🧐
Let’s get back to the chat with my friends. Personally, I agree with my friend who said he couldn’t interact emotionally with someone who would become a burden. I understand because it’s also hard for me to date ppl I have to teach how to be responsible for their lives. I don’t like to tech anyone the way to be their best versions..
I know it might sound rude, but life is itself. Each person has different levels of learning, of evolving towards their best versions, and that’s wonderful. That’s why I have so many friends 😇
At the same time, I know that my friends prefer to have partners who they can control, like a pets, instead of sharing at the same level. I also think this is part of an insecurity they have, reflected in their inability to give their best if they’re next to a partner at the same level in many ways.
To be clear, it’s wonderful that this world allows for diversity of intelligence at different levels. It’s wonderful because I’ve seen and proven in other types of interations that those who don’t have such a high IQ tend to have a ‘big heart’ and base their decisions on feelings. This is an admirable trait ❤
Once a friend told me I should write down what I want in a partner, and I said, “A person like me knows what they want from everything life can offer. I never playing small in any aspect of my life, So I already know what I want in a partner, eventually.”
You know, there are secrets that I keep for myself, it is boring to know all the secrets of life, it is like avoiding the surprises that cause the roller coaster of emotions 💣💥
The trend in today’s world is to give importance to everything that is related to the pleasure of our instinct and this becomes a mental or thinking inability at an individual level.
Personally, in my social circle, I try to encourage ppl not to let their human capacity be dominated by their emotions, feelings, and instinctive reactions. As a friend, I encourage them to let their mental capacity dominate their humanity. Reason in a biological world differentiates us from the other species we coexist with.
We shouldn’t push anyone aside, just keep our goals clear and our circle small. It’s not about being antisocial, it’s about being selective, reducing less intellectual interactions. I’m a fan of what’s real and authentic, and I love when humans are critical.
I’m a pragmatic person, always looking for deeper meanings. For me, life is more than the biological concept currently marked as the limit of our humanity.. I observe but don’t absorb.
My main philosophy is:
“The genius who bases their intellect on superficial things and loses control of their emotions
will be a disaster in their own life.”
Being confident in who you are isn’t a matter of humility, it’s a matter of acceptance, and I know I’m great 😎
I’ll close by saying that you should give people something that keeps them motivated to learn from you, but never your whole life because many are incapable of running the race of life at your pace.
I’m not a complicated girl, I just choose peace within anything this life can offer me. I never invest my time badly.. I’ll always be loyal to anything that doesn’t bore me.
Bye now! 💋
