Are dating apps a tool to get into the dating game, or are they tricky obstacles that complicate it?
They’ve positioned themselves as a social revolution in today’s world, and it’s no surprise – the game of monopoly with puppets, META, boasts the world’s largest and most comprehensive social apps, including Facebook Dating, Sparks, and the recently acquired ‘Hinge,’ the Australian dating app.
The breakdown goes like this:
Facebook Dating: Since 2019, available in 150 countries, with over 200 million users.
Sparks: Launched in 2022, operating in 10 countries, and boasting over 10 million users (it even includes AI for near-perfect matching).
Hinge: Hinge: Just starting in 2023—available in 10 countries, with interaction figures still unknown.
Tinder/Bumble/Badoo/other apps: Established between 2006 and 2014—operating in nearly 150 to 200 countries, with close to 80 million users.
How do they validate, the market is vast, there are too many options; this is known as the ‘crystal world’ with everything just a click away. Generation Z is also referred to as the ‘crystal generation,’ and I highlight this because they share many characteristics with the current world we live in. These include a high susceptibility to social pressures and permissiveness, leading to a decrease in their tolerance for frustration and criticism.
The world today is just as transparent as crystal. Those who had to adapt are the Baby Boomers, as they didn’t have access to the globalized world as we know it now. We wouldn’t know how to interact if it weren’t for these changes
Personally, I sometimes conduct the experiment to avoid frustration if one day it ceases to exist, and it’s quite healthy, even though I’m very active in this reality.
However, we must learn to live without getting attached to things of any kind. I only tie myself to my mom and my bed; everything else wouldn’t affect me if it were to cease to exist one day.
It’s extremely curious, because in the past, it was believed that you would meet one person, and they would become the love of your life. But times change.
By conducting an analysis (I’m a finance professional, so you’ll understand my fascination with verifying all the data available to me), all individuals have a variety of options to choose from in relationships, or even multiple relationships.
Now, they have the opportunity to meet people in person or online, and this opens up opportunities that were once bundled under the concept of having only one partner.
Personally, I believe that if you’re not ready to halt interpersonal interactions on a physical or emotional level, you shouldn’t close the door and settle for just one person.
It’s important to remember that relationships can be complicated, as you’re not only dealing with your own mind and all the principles that govern it when making decisions but also with someone or even multiple people, depending on the type of relationship you engage in, whether it’s one or more individuals.
Dating apps, for instance, have made it easier than ever to connect with people who share similar interests and values. This means that young people have a much broader range of options when it comes to finding a partner. However, it’s important to note that having access to more options doesn’t always lead to better decision-making.
Many times, you might feel influenced by the behavior patterns of those you interact with. Especially in today’s youth, they can often feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of choices available, which can make decision-making more challenging.
Furthermore, the digital world can be superficial. People can create profiles that don’t accurately represent themselves, leading to unrealistic expectations.
In general, it’s true that young people today have more opportunities to meet others compared to the past. However, it doesn’t necessarily make it easier to find the right partner.
The issue with these apps is that people are no longer working on themselves, which is why it’s said that the digital world can be overly superficial. People are only showing their appearance and preferences, but you can’t access their personalities. Even in a second-level interaction, on a personal level, they don’t reveal who they truly are due to fear of rejection.
This is why the importance of originality is highlighted—not following trends, and not betraying oneself by falling into anxiety and then projecting it onto every person with whom they have a romantic interaction.
I had an experience using the Apple Watch, and it was truly a nightmare to wear it all the time due to my responsibilities. I interact with people at different levels all day, and this device can truly fill you with anxiety. It’s astonishing how something so tiny can affect you psychologically. I’m sharing this because we need to take care of our minds to the extent of letting go or cutting off anything that diminishes us.
It’s incredibly interesting how this situation of anxiety can influence people’s minds. For example, right now, both men and women can have at least 20 chats with different people on various platforms, all with the sole purpose of not feeling empty.
I’ll start by discussing this from my personal perspective and the perspective of those involved, regardless of their gender. Depending on your location and the time you use any of the available dating apps, that’s the market you’ll be dealing with.
For example, from my point of view, in Europe, everything is super relaxed. You don’t have to deal with toxicity, which, as you know, is the most challenging aspect in any interaction. I personally don’t like explaining anything I do. I struggle immensely with people’s emotions because in the US and Latin America, people tend to express their emotions intensely. That’s where I felt most comfortable.
In general, Europeans, from my experience as a half-European, don’t overthink things. If they like someone, they tell them what they want straightforwardly. However, when they interact with an American, it can be complicated because even though many Americans have an open mindset, they still face the challenge of dealing with their high emotional expressiveness. You know, there’s a difference between being open-minded and being emotionally controlled or what many would call ‘cold.’
Americans are very sensitive and passionate but open-minded. They won’t enter a relationship without analyzing the person first, and once they do, they commit wholeheartedly. Latinos are quite similar to Americans, very sensitive, passionate, but they tend to be more closed-minded and will enter any relationship that comes their way.
They are a wee crazy for this contradiction!
Personally, some Latinos drive me crazy! Haha..
However, it’s important to bear in mind that every individual is different, and one cannot generalize about an entire culture. There are Europeans who are highly emotionally expressive, and there are Americans who are quite reserved. Furthermore, it’s crucial to remember that communication is key in any relationship, regardless of the cultural backgrounds of the individuals involved.
Many times, on the American (US/Latin America) side, girls have been sold the idea that they should seek a partner for marriage, and they almost feel obligated to do so.
Relationships, at their core, are very complicated, and these apps have been invented to make people’s lives even more complex.
Believe it or not, the easiest way to manipulate a group of people is through their emotional side.
On the other hand, guys instinctively want to conquer everything that crosses their path, without limitations. Unless they’ve grown tired of the game, or in their mindset, having long-term relationships is their priority.
It’s funny cuz one day I was talking to a friend, and he said, ‘I’m the type of guy you have to make the most of when you have me. I only go out with a girl for 3-4 dates.’
I swear, after hearing that, I felt really good. It was like I was sending a voice note from my mind Haha..
It’s crazy! You know, if you’ve read me before, you know that I apply the rule of 4, and I never break it unless the guy seems to be in control of his emotions, or if we given in to a few rules along the way.
Wow! It’s really tough! Sometimes when I’m at a party and I get in the mood, you know, I start thinking deeply and say, “Wow, how shallow and fake all of this is.” But then it passes, or I try to forget the thought with more nonsense.
Part of me is tired of all the shallowness, but it’s impossible to distance myself from all of this. My profession ties me to “The Big Apple” and the “golden” people who live in it, but that’s life. I’m still very young, and I’m a girl with goals, not dreams. Fortunately, I’m not defined by what others think or want. I’m defined by what I think and want for myself.
You don’t gain much by drowning in this world of glass. You have to find a way to keep your head above water, even if there are sharks, octopuses, and more inside. If you’re a woman reading this, you should start thinking like a mermaid.
In these apps, my friends have lost their minds. They go out with all these guys and end up falling in love, and then they also end up with broken hearts. Some don’t even make it to the first date before imagining how many kids they’ll have with the guy.
I just watch these actions and literally feel like going for a pint of ice cream to watch their romantic movie.
Girls, love isn’t everything in life, and love doesn’t pay the bills!
These apps can be too toxic. Some of my friends end up tracking the location of their date…
Damn! When I found out about this (in the worst way)
While studying for one of my certifications in Barcelona, one of my close friends came to me and said she was feeling down. I just looked at her with a straight face, I mean, you imagine the context: in the middle of a class, the professor explaining how we were going to work on a project, and she was lying on her forearm on her desk, telling me she was depressed. So, you know, I had to ask the empathetic question, “Why, baby?” I asked her. She said she had checked the location of the guy from Madrid on the app, and it turned out he was in Barcelona and hadn’t told her…
Hells! It immediately got me thinking that guys were probably doing or had done the same to me…
One time, around of this situation, in a conversation I had with a guy from one of these apps, he said, “We’re X km apart,” and I immediately associated it with the toxicity my friend had experienced. I had to deactivate that feature because I don’t understand why people want to control your life. They don’t accept that everyone’s life is their own. I’m too conscious of my image to let someone I just met try to control my whereabouts and who knows what else.
Recently, while talking to one of my friends, he told me he had to file a lawsuit against some girls who had become obsessed with him. Just imagine how delicate the issue of privacy is, especially now that all these apps want to link to every social network you have. There’s no privacy in this world of glass; you only have a chance to decide how incognito you allow yourself to be.
My friend was so overwhelmed by the situation that he decided to take a break from these apps. When he told me about it, I felt a strong connection because I went through the same thing with at least five guys. One of them I had to block in every possible way because he reached out to me through any channel he could find. He later apologized, which I appreciated, but he’ll never even be an acquaintance in my life again. In this world full of falsehood and superficiality, people no longer use their reasoning to stop and think about the damage they’ve accumulated throughout their lives and haven’t dealt with internally. They seek someone to project all their insecurities onto through harassment and toxicity.
Folks, we all have darkness within us, whether it’s bad habits, traumas from interactions with others, OCD, etc. These are all associated with mental issues that we often try to address with the help of a mental health professional. I have a deep respect for their ability to deal with so many people, but we often mistakenly think of them as god-like figures who can solve all our problems. We forget that they are just people dealing with their own issues. I appreciate the approach of those who confront you, making it clear that you must face and decide for yourself, like a guided self-therapy.
For me, personally, I always aim to embrace the darkness that resides within me, learning to live with it without projecting it onto another person I might interact with on any level. I want to emphasize that if someone else’s darkness is too deep, I’d rather steer clear because it’s like walking towards the abyss with my eyes wide open.
This crystal world has a single objective: to make our lives easier. It leaves behind anything emotional that humans naturally connect with. We must learn to survive in a fast-paced world by taking a break from it occasionally, slowing down its speed, understanding ourselves, and facing the challenges. Otherwise, we might end up like the toxic individuals I’ve mentioned in this blog post, and I’m sure there are many worse out there.
Let’s protect our privacy, resist following the trends that the world encourages us to replicate, and stop hesitating with our lives. Life is our most precious possession, and we mustn’t forget who we are.
Surround yourself with people who share similar goals, regardless of their age. Even if you’ve given your all to someone at some point, don’t allow yourself to think that doing so makes you a fool just because that person didn’t appreciate it. It wasn’t the end of the world, and you’re not obliged to give them another chance. They only taught us that self-love is our top priority, and love can’t be bought or sought; it simply comes. And if it doesn’t, who cares.
In conclusion, don’t invest all your energy in superficial matters. Don’t get entangled in the world’s falsehoods—stay true to yourself. I personally accept the world’s position. Whether it’s criticism or praise from friends, coworkers, or family, I don’t live my life to meet other people’s expectations.
I live my life to achieve my goals. If I don’t want to take a shower, if I want to dress in tattered clothes, if I feel like speaking Spanish today, or if I decide to skip work and go to the spa or spend the day watching movies while eating pizza and ice cream, I don’t care if others like it or not.
These are decisions I made. I have a life filled with numerous obligations, and to keep my mind healthy, I sometimes decide to switch off my phone and laptop or mute the chats with all my contacts, and I work in silence.
The technology offered by this crystal world is toxic. To avoid going with the flow, we must become one of the few doses of poison in the world and choose the combination of ingredients that result in the flavor we want to become.
Prioritize; originality is your personal brand, even within this crystal world that allows the gaze of millions upon you.
Remember to set your course toward a goal, never lose your essence, which is your personal mark. Above all, maintain empathy and tolerance towards others.
These three rules are the code for maintaining interpersonal interactions at any level.
Bye now!
