“Where there is danger, take me, and where there is no danger, forget me.”
Finally, the explanation of this topic, but not necessarily limiting it.
(Note: If you’re using my content for your podcast, book, or stand-up as material, give credit, not plagiarism)
Dates are like a poker, come and let me explain my analogy.
I’ll take a bit from what I wrote in another blog post last year (Dating Game) on the subject.
Relationships are like a poker game. Both are games of strategy. It’s crazy, but love is the chance and interest for all it entails.
That said, you know, I believe that relationships can be compared to a game in several basic aspects. Let’s break down why it’s like poker:
Firstly, both require strategy.
In poker, players must make decisions ’bout how much to bet, what cards they have, and how to play based on the information available on the table. It’s curious, saying that goes “let’s lay our cards on the table” when in a romantic relationship, one of the two is crossing the line towards emotions.
You know, it happened to me once that I kept telling my friends that what I liked was to go with the flow when I went out with a guy, and at the same time, I kept saying that I always made it clear what I wanted from the interaction, which was to flow without being restricted, in order to handle emotional responsibility.
But, you know, it turns out that things don’t work that way. It’s funny, recently, in my quest to understand these connections that we always find ourselves interacting with, regardless of gender, I understood that there is no way to “flowing.”
The only way to flow is until the fourth date, and if this is the case, you know ‘technically’, it’s not flowing cuz you are putting a rule on something that shouldn’t have a restriction, which is the concept of the word itself.
So, what comes next, you may wonder?
Well, I realized that there is no such thing as almost something. You can’t have something halfway because not everyone knows how to deal with emotions.
Many times, few of us have the skill to control or even to some extent, ‘master emotions’ cause we have worked on ourselves, and others don’t have it yet.
You know, this is where I realized it’s not just a matter of emotional responsibility in the relationship; it’s about knowing what we want from the gender that attracts us and making it clear before going on the first date, before starting any drama.
Ppl, Let’s be honest, none of us wants to deal with..
In relationships, people must make decisions on how to interact with their partners based on self-knowledge and what little they have gained in the relationship. Likewise, people who are dating without any title.
But I am very sure that anyone can’t go with the flow, TRUST ME! haha
That path will only lead to an exit, one where one of the two ends up entangled in feelings due to actions the other had at the beginning or during the connection. At this point, the person who let their guard down too much must have self-respect and end that unnecessary relationship, just like if they had resigned from a poker game cuz they didn’t have a good hand, or at least not good enough to continue. It’s better to lose the little that was bet than to lose too much.
To understand the analogy, let me explain the rules of poker to complement my example:
Players: All participants.
In casino poker, a French deck of 52 cards is used. Each player receives 5 cards, and all make an initial bet. During the rounds, the player must devise their game strategy, either raising or withdrawing if they don’t have a good hand. In the end, the remaining players must lay their cards on the table, and whoever has a hand matching the cards revealed by the dealer or ‘croupier’ in French wins.
Now, let’s compare it to dating as if it were a game:
Players: All wannabes, couples, triads, polyamorous relationships – you decide how you handle your emotional connections.
Here, there is no dealer, and if we had to assign a role to someone, I would think it’s destiny. In traditional couple interactions, the initial bet is made by the guy or in more modern interactions, it’s 50-50. It’s important to note that this depends on the genders involved and can vary. Each person, from the first date, must devise their strategy, see what the other person says that aligns with their self-definition.
After 52 days, validate how the interaction is going from their perspective, and the rest will be history.
Firstly, if they can identify the similarities and follow the analogy, perhaps they shouldn’t wait for all 52 cards to be exposed. They can be winners or losers. I don’t consider myself an expert, but I find it interesting how being rational, even in these matters, allows those involved to maturely prefer being defeated over wasting time.
Secondly, both involve an element of risk. In poker, players risk their money in each hand.
In relationships, people risk their time, energy, and emotions. Learning how to manage emotions, just like in poker, is crucial in dating – it’s important to stay calm and not let emotions dominate.
Thirdly, both require communication and trust. In poker, players must communicate with each other to negotiate bets.
In relationships, people must communicate with each other to build trust and intimacy. Reading the signals from the other person, like in poker, is important – observing the non-verbal cues to know how to proceed.
Personally, I think that if a person is going to show two faces, they should make sure that at least one of them is beautiful.. you know, It’s sad how many use indecision as an excuse, attributing aspects of their personality to the insecurity they project.
Be cautious in how you carry out your interactions cuz not everyone is walking through life, paying attention to the footprints they leave behind.
Lately, on my social media, I’ve been posting small messages with the goal of creating awareness in all aspects of life, not just emotional ones. However, I recently read that one can inspire even those who consciously think they are avoiding you.
Believe it or not, something stays in their subconscious, and later they might think it was their idea and put your recommendation into practice.
You know, I’ve always thought that there is an international anthem that many artists sing, and it’s “heartbreak” haha
If we go through it because the path led us there, let’s sing it proudly cuz it’s not wrong to give it your all. It’s wrong to be afraid and not try.
We don’t know what opportunities we’ve missed if we don’t give it a shot.
Let’s remember that energies flow through the intentions we have in everything we do. We must be happy with ourselves first, accept what we have while working towards what we want.
I have no doubt that if we work on our best version, we will attract the best.
I’ll close by saying, imagine stealing a star from the dark sky. When it’s in your hands, it’s just a light that, if you hold onto it tightly, will take you to places you didn’t even know existed. Discover the light within you.
There’s a phrase that goes:
“If someone doesn’t have a heart, you can’t go around offering yours.”
Be the first option, even for yourself.
Bye now..
Bye now!
