“The things you own end up owning you.”
Hello my dear readers, I’ve been absent for a few days, but I’m back to writing now. I’ve been through various situations that have kept my mind busy, but not enough to neglect my writing.
Now, let’s analyze the phrase, we must be careful of what we think so as not to become slaves to it. Our thoughts determine who we are, but we cannot close ourselves off only to what we believe. We must open and expand our minds by reading books and listening to others share their life insights, and from there form our own opinion, develop our own judgment.
I once heard someone say that “pursuing unattainable goals makes you a slave to the invisible.” I think that phrase carries a serious warning. You know, the first correction I would make is that we should not pursue any goals; we should attract what we want, and secondly, the only way not to be a slave to illusions is to gradually build what you want step by step.
“Unattainable” goals can become chains if we do not approach them healthily. We should not blindly pursue goals; we should actively attract what we want in our lives by building micro-goals, just like plotting a path.
I believe that many people don’t achieve what they want because they don’t forgive themselves when they fail, or they don’t forgive what they didn’t pursue when they were younger.
However, if this is your case, please stop right there. I say this seriously: “forget the mistake and remember the lesson.” It was just a bad day, don’t drag it into your life.
Move on!
Once a friend suggested to me that I should write about how I came to have so much determination to choose above what a girl traditionally should want within society, and therefore why I preferred to become a businesswoman.
Well, first of all, I think that no one should pigeonhole the female gender into thinking they can only do one thing.
Personally, I have always wanted to have a family, but it has never been my strict priority.
Once, not long ago, a friend told me that my education was that of a ‘trophy wife’, which made me laugh because I don’t consider myself a trophy for anyone.
I don’t understand the obsession with objectifying women or turning them into pets. I don’t want an owner or a title that indicates I am tied to someone; I also don’t want to live for someone as an ornament. I believe I am valuable enough as a man with the delicacy that being a woman allows me.
In my opinion, I want an equal by my side, not a guy I have to turn into a project. I don’t need someone who cannot be critical of circumstances; I prefer a partner. If he doesn’t find me, I am not going to go out of my way to find him either.
Girls can be useful to society and also be one of the pillars of the family. In modern times, we are told not to have a family, that it delays goals.
However, I don’t believe this is true; I think that for each person, the timing is different.
For some, finding a partner is a goal they should pursue; for others, finding a partner is something that will happen ‘cause they have become accustomed to focusing their minds away from trivial matters.
A girl should focus on not chasing boys; she should focus her life on building her destiny from an early age, learning a hobby that enhances her value, and stop wasting her time wondering every day how many boys like her or what the latest trend is.
(By the way, I clarify that I love fashion but don’t follow trends; I set my own style, but we will talk about that another time).
But let’s be honest, society says that a girl should be attractive, intelligent, educated, fun, love football, be a traveler, preferably not drink beer or any kind of alcohol, let alone consume drugs. She should be hot, cook as if she had 3 Michelin stars in her home, be good with kids and animals, because being a “suitable girl” is not just about having a pretty face.
Society is confusing; if you only have 2 of those attributes, intelligence and a pretty face, you’re a troublegirl. If you have all of the above but you’re not pretty, you’ll end up alone, and if you’re only pretty and don’t have any other qualities, well, beauty fades, my friend.
Why is society so unfair?
I don’t know, and I don’t care either.
My personal mindset says ‘I am what I want to be, I reach where I want to go, I achieve what I attract into my life. My qualities are pluses that were part of my upbringing (like playing piano/guitar, cooking, speaking multiple languages, playing chess/poker or video games, painting, singing, etc.), but none of this makes me exclusive; it just makes me unique and is part of my essence.’
Whatever your gender, if you’ve made it this far reading my writing, I want you to find the things you like, that you’ve never tried before, and if you haven’t met your first love, go to the nearest mirror and whatever reflection you see, well, let me introduce you to your first love. You didn’t know this, but you are your first love, and this is a good time to start loving yourself and built your own project.
Building who I am today has never been my final goal.
You know, professional careers are only half of it. In the end, you can’t hang out with your career and chat at night unless you like monologues haha 😅
I still don’t feel like I’m finished. The first stage may have been formed during my upbringing, followed by the way I was raised and told what could happen, for example, if I became an artist, that was my initial dream vs. if I completed a degree. It’s not a big secret to anyone how this conversation took place in my family.
However, I believe I am in the second stage of my life, especially being an independent, intelligent woman in this society created by rules of men for men has been the struggle, and not just for me, but for many years of all women to achieve similar opportunities to men and have a say in this society.
I believe the hardest task for any girl is to make her word respected at a table of men.
I don’t want to be equal to men; I want to continue being a woman and respected for it in this world of men.
Personally, I find it incredible that a girl is treated like a lady by some guy; however, if any girl doesn’t like to be treated that way, she should express it. Her opinion must be respected, but no guy can or should assume that a girl only because she is independent wants to be treated as if she were your dude.
We must stop assuming and prejudging others; theories only create gossip.
Being who I am today is not easy; there is a lot of responsibility involved, there are questions that many have about me that I cannot answer. I can only say that
“I remain a completely unknown person to many. That never makes me feel bad; it makes me feel like I’m not an open book to everyone.”
Having so much responsibility is difficult, especially when it wasn’t my first decision. You don’t need to know too much about what exactly I do; I can only say that the environment in which your career is involved doesn’t have to be 100% gray.
Personally, just over a year ago, I reconnected with my dream of being an artist; that adds colors to my life, and although I have been very successful, I cannot let go of my career yet, nor do I think I ever will. However, I have already set a goal; in my 40s, I plan to partially retire from my business and dedicate myself only to writing.
So, whatever you were born for, you should not let go of the reins of your life; you can achieve whatever you want.
Personally, I believe that no one or nothing can stop, limit, or delay you; you are what you do every day with your time, from when you wake up to when you go to bed. Time is the only thing that allows us to exist in a given space; don’t leave anything to destiny like that trend phrase “I go with the flow,” but don’t obsess about controlling what you cannot control either.
No one is able to flow in any aspect of their life; this lesson is one of the most recent ones I have learned. Anyone who says “I go with the flow and see what happens” is a person incapable of firmly deciding what they want for their life, and this is another topic..
First, establish the project for your life, and then enjoy the benefits.
Personally, I spent many years studying, and now I am in the process where I enjoy the benefits and continue working on the ‘Kim project.’
What I want to tell you is that if you have not started yet, there is nothing wrong with having enjoyed first and now deciding to do something that involves serious focus on your life. It is not the right way, but I am a firm believer that it is never too late. Your time begins when you are ready for it; don’t give up!
Your life has a lot ahead of it. Sit down and establish your goals in time frames, and you will end up being who you believe you will be in your mind.
Finally, believe it; it is your choice.
Born to be…?
Figure out! And bye now..
Bye now!
