“Equality is not about making everyone the same, but about treating everyone equally.”
How is dating in 2024?
According to social media platforms, in most comments I found this:
· – “Dating is trash”: It’s like going to the store and buying a single-use item.
· – “Dating apps?”: Some people use them just to boost their self-esteem.
Everyone carries baggage on the journey of emotional relationships; however, we sometimes only point out how much baggage the other person has. It’s easy to point fingers when we are only interested in our own well-being.
What is baggage in this context?
People need to accept that we cannot seek perfection in others. “Baggage” symbolizes the burdens from past relationships that we choose not to accept in our new interactions. Thus, this baggage is akin to the popular concept of ‘red flags.’
We must stop thinking that if someone shows one or several patterns of what we consider ‘red flags,’ it will yield the same result we had in a past relationship.
Every bond is entirely different. However, in an inclusive society, we should have the empathy to put ourselves in others’ shoes and understand why they behave a certain way.
Anyone seeking to start dating in 2024 or beyond should consider aspects like ‘love is not the same as passion.’ Love is built. The word ‘love’ is used to conceptualize everything that encompasses a romantic emotional bond.
Just my two cents: 📸
Personally, I think love is the “fantasy” society sells you to justify marriage. I support romantic relationships that stay together by choice, people who have built a deep bond and are willing to continue deepening it, not because a piece of paper obliges them to do so, but because both are willing to make it happen.
Let’s continue…
I remember that a long time ago I hang out with someone (I should note that I’m not one for romantic relationships, and I’ll explain why later). In this case, it was a guy who told me he preferred a friendship with benefits that would never end rather than a romantic bond that, once broken, cannot be rebuilt. He had a point! For one thing, he made me laugh because I don’t have romantic partners, and secondly, I think the same way.
It’s like when I go to a store and buy heels that I love. I don’t buy them to keep them hidden away; I wear them until they wear out, and when they do, I put them in my collection. They become my special shoes 😊 iykyk haha.
But I know that this ‘modus operandi’—I call it ‘my special friend’—isn’t for everyone, because you need to earn my respect. You know I follow my ‘three rules’:
A) I don’t attend every date; I choose them.
B) I don’t date just anyone; they have to earn my respect to have the opportunity.
C) I only date those who understood points a and b.
I’m a firm believer that having many failed romantic relationships just makes you common. When the supply is cheap, the demand increases. I’m not up for the minor leagues—I know you got what I’m saying.. 💝
I don’t know how many people support this mindset, but we have to accept that the essence of humanity is evolution. On this journey, as thinking beings, we must respect others and their different ways of living.
Why don’t I have “long-term romantic partners”?
Well, I’ll share this respectfully so that you can also define your limits. Here’s my summary:
1. They try to invade and absorb my time. I firmly believe that everyone’s personal space should be respected. We cannot intrude on other interpersonal relationships that someone already has, the time they dedicate to work, or even their personal downtime.
Before someone comes into my life, I already have a life established, so it’s difficult when they can’t accept that. I don’t share the mindset from past romantic relationships where everything one person does must be done by the other. Let’s remember that before being social beings, we are individuals, and coexistence starts with respect.
2. Lack of trust. They often try to project their insecurities onto me.
For example, once a guy asked if I liked him, and I said it was evident because otherwise, I wouldn’t spend time with him. I found him attractive, which is why he was my friend. He thought I “friendzoned” him and began to treat me poorly. That blatant lack of respect pushed him to the back of the line.
If you’ve been reading from the start, you know I highly value individuality and tell people upfront what I can offer them. If things evolve in the meantime, it’s because they’ve shown respectful behavior in the interaction. I greatly value my time and theirs because this isn’t just about me—I also try to respect the preferences of the other person.
3. Idealization. I don’t like it when someone cannot think for themselves. I’m not good as a “teacher,” “coach,” or “babysitter” because it’s not my calling. I believe everyone has the right to grow as a person in their own way and at their own pace. I personally like it when the other person is busy with their own challenges and goals. I prefer that the moments we share are more for exchanging intellectual thoughts than trivial ones.
“Intellectual minds discuss ideas; academic minds discuss events; trivial minds argue with people.”
4. This fourth point is the last one—I get bored very quickly… haha.. This has nothing to do with the other person; it’s just that I’m a very adventurous girl. I like to come up with a new idea and put it into action. I find it hard to deal with passivity or repetitive tasks. I struggle to explain again what I’ve already stated on “x” topic when I’ve given my opinion. I don’t like rework, and I don’t like explaining what is implicit.. and this is cuz I don’t need revalidation.
I remember that when I was in my academic training, I’ve always been hyperactive and can’t sit and listen to a teacher for hours.. As you know, I have a fairly extensive education and have always dealt with teachers.
So, when I was working on my master’s, I was always the one disagreeing with the professor because I have always liked to challenge people’s Intellectual Qualification, regardless of their age. If his response was unsupported by real value in general terms, I’d then argue with a tangential point.. I was only doing it to take the class to a more dynamic level.
The only way to not get bored and keep myself guessing is by diversifying—I firmly believe that “variety is the spice of life.” As the cover of one of my songs on Spotify says, “the magic of madness never ends; it’s like a never-ending story.” 🤩
As you can see, this is my backpack, and I know it because I took some time alone since my last romantic relationship to reflect on myself, what I like and don’t like. During that process, I learned that I can’t expect never to find another person similar to the one I ended things with.
I can’t always have avoidant attachment in my future interactions, even though my guru once told me that until I learn the lesson from that person, fate will keep putting someone similar in my path.
For a long time, I avoided patterns until I understood that each person is unique and special. And maybe it’s true that cycles repeat until we learn the lessons that life allows us to live for, but we can’t live in fear of experiences, or else we’re not living life.
Your Avatar is who you are, who you decided to be. No one can judge you, and if they do, learn to ignore them. In the end, we will always be criticized—you decide which criticisms to accept and which to reject.
Whoever wants to date you as your avatar deserves to be included in your life.
No one can force you to deepen an emotional bond at their pace. You have the freedom to choose your timing, your thoughts, your emotional expressions, your outfits, your baggage. Your tastes define your essence.
Remember that the only person who will live with the person you decide to create is yourself.
I hope this blog post today helps you reflect.. I will stop writing for a few weeks. I need to recharge my energy and organize my thoughts!
Bye now beautiful people..
♥ℒᵒᵛᵉᵧₒᵤ♥
Bye now!
