I Part
How popular will what they say in America be: “You shouldn’t get too involved to avoid giving too many explanations”?
i.e, you know, you’re dating someone, and constantly questioning them ‘bout everything they do often paves the way for lies from either party – often unnecessarily.
Any individual, regardless of gender, should have the peace of mind to express only what they want and allow them ‘to flow’, allowing them to choose you from their own freedom.
It’s so much so that this phrase was included in a song:
“Don’t ask questions you don’t wanna know.”
For reasons related to work, study, and enjoyment, I’ve had the opportunity to get to know many cultures. While it’s true that there are cultures that are very closed-minded and don’t accept any ideas beyond those imposed by their customs and traditions, making it impossible to open up to new sources of thinking, others allow these sources to slowly open their minds, and some accept any idea without too much questioning.
In this regard, it is very important to be critical. The French philosopher Voltaire (1694-1778), in his book ‘Dictionnaire philosophique’ (1764), wrote: “Tolerance is the only sensible policy. It is the only way to live in peace with our fellow human beings, even if we don’t think the same way.”
How important it is to be able to tolerate each other. It’s difficult, but we must accept that ‘every mind is a world,’ and we cannot demand that anyone thinks the same as we do, but only advise them.
As for relationships, I think that sometimes people want to dominate the other, even overlooking the needs of the other person. Currently, the new generations, the millennials and Generation Z, are more relaxed about these issues and even accept open relationships. This is due to several factors, such as exposure to cultural diversity, access to information about different types of relationships, and, above all, the pursuit and achievement of their own goals through flexibility and autonomy in their lives.
It’s important to have a perception of the orientation of our society, regardless of gender.
Let me illustrate:
A study conducted by the University of Michigan in 2022 found that 23% of millennials and 18% of Generation Z are open to having an open relationship. The study also found that 17% of millennials and 14% of Generation Z are open to having a polyamorous relationship.
Another study, conducted by the University of California, Berkeley, in 2021, found that 34% of millennials and 29% of Generation Z are in a long-distance relationship. The study also found that 28% of millennials and 25% of Generation Z are open to having a long-distance relationship.
This, not to mention that when people are in a monogamous relationship and one of the two is no longer satisfied, they instinctively develop toxic attitudes when they feel insecure about their dating, including manipulation, victimization, and others.
We should learn to deal with what we don’t like and not force others to deal with our darkness just because it’s difficult for us to step out of our comfort zone. As humans, we tend to get used to people; we do this instinctively. However, I believe we cannot lock people in cages and make them stay by our side without them deciding for themselves.
“I stay because I like and want to, not because I’m forced to.”
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II Part
“Ageless today”
In its essence, it suggests the idea that, in the present, one feels and/or appears to be living in the moment, as if time has no effect on us. People who are in a relationship mode or seeking one should consider incorporating this idea as an ‘inception’ in the relationship interaction manual and in their personal way of life. It’s about accepting the flexibility of being a complement rather than a necessity for someone else, enjoying the company of the other person, but not forcing them to become a pet.
What’s very interesting about the concept of this phrase is that it suggests timelessness, where chronological time doesn’t define the experience or perception of a specific moment, regardless of a person’s age. It’s an expression that celebrates the sensation of being in a state where time is not a concern or limitation. We should consider applying this to the moments we choose to share with others and, in the same way, to the time we spend with ourselves.
Epicurus (341-270 BC), a Stoic philosopher, asserted that “happiness wasn’t a constant state but composed of small moments of pleasure”. The meaning of pleasure is not mutually exclusive to the meaning of ‘to flow’; this is the only way to experience ecstasy.
It’s interesting, there’s a Buddhist practice called “Mindfulness” that involves full and conscious attention. It’s all about intentionally focusing on the present without judgment, being mindfully aware of what we’re doing, and accepting that these are moments that will fade away, but we can mentally enjoy and perceive them timelessly, reducing stress and improving our quality of life.
There are relationships to which people can feel bound, as if they were enslaved by them, even if they’ve ended without allowing themselves the flexibility that liberation offers. Within the boundaries, you can’t flow, but within the tolerance mentioned earlier, interacting with others can be challenging in some specific cases. So, exposing your negotiable and non-negotiable aspects is crucial. Tolerance begins with honesty from the outset and shouldn’t trigger toxic attitudes in the other person.
Personally, I believe that for relationships of any kind, loyalty to my way of thinking is not something I would put on the negotiation table. If you’ve read me before, in my opinion, relationships are a game of negotiations and bets.
There’s a topic related to the present and flexibility of thought that brings about various mental issues, with anxiety being the main one. This relates to the search for a purpose in our lives.
During a conference, Sadhguru was asked how to discover the purpose of our lives, to which he replied: “The purpose of our lives is to live the life that has been given to us and not waste time on things that don’t contribute, as one day it will end, and you might have done more. This doesn’t imply having a ‘very big’ purpose, but a unique one. Don’t idealize it with superheroic ideas” He added: “I know people who think they have a great purpose and do things that harm others. Thinking you have a great purpose can lead you to make decisions that harm your species.” He concluded with a rhetorical question: “Won’t living your life to the best of ”our ability“bring about a great impact?”
Often, people obsess about the future and dwell on memories from the past. I believe people should be motivated by aspects of their past they don’t want to repeat, to work and enjoy everything they do with their time in the present, and see the results in the future, thus fulfilling their cycle.
Personally, I think that flexibility in how you live your life allows you to eliminate multiple troubles that many people experience, attributed to dissatisfaction in their lives. They fixate on issues like marriage or job promotion and do nothing to change their current reality. Many suffer from anxiety, nerves, and mental health-related problems, which they could work on by themselves or with the help of a psychologist or some books.
In summary, it’s important to consider removing the taboos surrounding many conversations. We should allow ourselves to express, have critical thinking, and not be influenced by others’ ideas. However, it’s crucial to emphasize that, to reach this point, we must first accept ourselves, whether we’ve decided to change our external appearance or work on our internal growth, whether it’s mental or related to spiritual matters attributed to the soul.
Downplaying appearance isn’t the main focus. Sure, if how you look physically benefits your inner self, enjoy the process, but it shouldn’t be your sole priority. Eventually, as a living being, the Earth will claim your body, and you’ll be left only with the work you’ve done in your mind and soul.
Inherited life perspectives that have helped me simplify my journey involve self-acceptance, acknowledging the reality of my environment, assuming the responsibilities within my designated role in this life (which depends on your work, family, and career), channeling stress through ‘escape routes’ like workouts/hobbies.
I refrain from idealizing individuals who captivate my interest or the experiences I aspire to, while resisting the temptation to assume what others think of me and no worrying ‘bout it. I also embrace serendipitous moments, recognizing that each person’s life is their own, and if they choose to include me, well, I should enjoy the experience, and vice versa. I don’t let negative thoughts fill up my mind and steer clear of self-sabotage.
Moreover, I’ve come to understand that happiness is an individual construction, independent of external dependencies.
Promoting respect for every person’s personal space, be it a family member, ‘my crush’ (if someone existed), or my friends, is paramount, as each person leads a life distinct from mine. This all coalesces into the imperative of self-love, which in no way negates the concept of empathy, for others hold equal value as integral human beings.
Let’s not fixate on chasing perfection in human nature, as imperfection lies at the heart of our very essence. We dwell in a society where the perfection displayed by artificial intelligence is mind-boggling. Nevertheless, the beauty concealed within our mistakes often eludes our recognition.
Learning from these missteps is akin to the way an art connoisseur deciphers an artist’s techniques and personality within a masterpiece. It’s like the first brushstroke, the composer’s prelude when embarking on a new composition, or the soprano’s initial aria, reaching for that first note. This is what distinguishes us as human beings – the willingness to try again.
Understanding that we possess the capacity to shape our surroundings and karma, much like trees traversing through various cycles in their lifespan, is essential. We should be open to reinvention, much like those trees on the verge of withering that find strength in unity with others in their quest for survival. Our minds should not be confined to rigid boundaries.
What truly captivates ‘bout individuals is not just their outward appearance, but their ability to adapt over time in their relationships and embrace self-acceptance.
Don’t hold back! Express yourself & flow freely!
